Short History of Humanity in 12 Funny Facts

Human history (in brief):

1. Woman no longer accepts to live in trees. And cries. The man discovers the cave. 

2. The cave is cold. The woman cries. The man discovers the fire.

3. The children scream with hunger. The woman cries. The man discovers the axe, bow and club and goes hunting.

4. From all the meat, the child gets scurvy. The woman cries. The man discovers agriculture.

5. Because the mammoth is hard to kill, the man is away from home too much. The woman cries. The man starts raising domestic animals: cow, sheep, pig, chicken, etc.

6. The woman has had enough of spit-roasted steak with a garnish of boiled green beans, eaten off a leaf. And she cries. The man discovers pottery.

7. The cave is drafty and damp and because of this the children catch cold, get pneumonia and die. The woman cries. The man builds first a berm and then a house of wood and stone.

8. Winter has come and it is cold. The woman cries. The man discovers that the skin and fur of dead animals can be processed and makes clothes.

9. The leather clothes as well as the fur ones stink. The woman cries. The man discovers, in turn, wool clothes (which are rough and scratchy - the Woman cries), linen clothes (which are also rough - the Woman sighs) and, finally, silk clothes (which seem to be satisfying. The Woman smiles). Later, the man also solves the problem of the smells emanating from the aforementioned skins and furs.

10. Various unimportant chores, such as protecting livestock herds and stamping out potential predators, keep the man away from home. The woman cries. The man domesticates the dog and cat.

11. The woman notices that she looks too much like her own kind. And starts to cry. The man invents make-up and jewelry.

12. The woman gets bored with being indoors and wants to broaden her horizons. Naturally, she starts to cry. The man invents the wheel, tames the horse and discovers the boat because the woman is fragile and tires quickly. Besides, no one would want to hear her cry again.

Years later...

The woman feels the need to "escape" from everyday life. She doesn't have the time, money or inclination for trips abroad, she gets bored with her girlfriends, there's nothing to watch on TV, the weather outside is bad. And as usual, the man isn't at home and he wouldn't understand much anyway. The woman would be so, sort of in the mood to write something that would bring her compliments from strangers and be something that would keep her anonymity and absolutely everything must be under control. And for the umpteenth time in history, the woman starts to cry. The man invents the blog.

Moral: When women cry, humanity evolves.

Another moral: Without women we would still be living in a tree.